Fearless Homeschool

Deschooling your Family

Deschooling your Family - what it is, why you should do it, and how to start. From Fearless Homeschool.

Deschooling can be defined as removing the influence of the formal education system from your way of thinking. Many children who have been in school will need time to adjust to their new lifestyle, and learn this new way of education. On a wider scale, nearly everyone in society has what could be termed a ‘school mindset’ (and you will notice this in the questions you get about homeschooling). As most of us went through school, and its training is pervasive, deschooling yourself is an important part of the process. It involves challenging and questioning your school mindset, and replacing it if a better mindset is available. This can be a difficult, long-term process, and immersing yourself in homeschooling reading can assist greatly.

To deschool means to abolish the power of one person to oblige another - Ivan Ilich quote on deschooling featured on Fearless Homeschool.

A deschooling period is commonly recommended upon beginning homeschooling. A child who has been highly regimented or has had a traumatic school experience may need time to relax and rediscover their interests, and find the joy in learning again. A deschooling period can facilitate this.

During deschooling try to ignore curriculum and the ‘shoulds’ in your head. Don’t worry about falling behind, as this period of rest and rediscovery will allow greater success once you begin structured work again. Or you may decide this lifestyle is for you, and segue into unschooling.

This period will also allow your child to settle back into their natural bodily rhythms. Sleep, toileting, eating, drinking and learning is all scheduled for the school child. They may be sleep-deprived after years of getting up earlier than their body likes, and sleep quite a lot to begin with. Maybe they won’t want to have breakfast until they’ve been up for three hours. Relaxing into it will help them get back to their normal and feel fresh and revitalised all the quicker.

Things to include in a deschooling period:

  • Lots of unstructured time – This may be stressful at first, as a child who is accustomed to their time being regimented may be unable to work out what to do to fill in that time. However, the following ideas will help to reintroduce them to their independence.
  • Reading – Just for fun, no book reports or assigned reading allowed! Visit the library and go shopping together for books (op-shops are great for building a large library cheaply). Read aloud to them, no matter their age. Listen to audiobooks while doing other activities.
  • Nature time – Rediscover the peace and beauty of nature. Take long rambling walks, examine plants, fungi and insects, have picnics.
  • Arts, crafts, and other activities – Try any kind of art, craft or hobby that sparks your interest.
  • Mindful use of technology – Often, technology can numb us to paying attention to ourselves. It is incredibly easy to distract yourself from your issues and feelings by mindless surfing. Instead, use it wisely. Watch TED talks, find tutorials for other activities, and watch documentaries.
  • Homemaking – It’s never too early to learn skills in cooking and cleaning. Even easy activities like learning to turn the washing machine on, or bake a simple cake, empowers children. And once they’ve mastered each skill they’ll be contributing meaningfully to the household.
  • Get moving – Physical activity is a wonderful way to relax mind and body. Take younger children to the playground, go for walks or bike rides, go to the skate park or try an activity like yoga or parkour.
  • Join a homeschool group – Finding people who are doing what you are is a great normaliser. If your child now feels ‘different’ this can reassure them that they’re not, while giving you great support.

 

Most learning is not the result of instruction. It is rather the result of unhampered participation in a meaningful setting. Most people learn best by being "with it," yet school makes them identify their personal, cognitive growth with elaborate planning and manipulation. Ivan Ilich deschooling quote featured on Fearless Homeschool.

 

As a parent, you can facilitate all of these activities. You don’t need to push or force – in fact, doing so can induce resistance and resentment. Instead, incorporate these activities into your life, and include your child. If you’re going to the library they can come along and get their own card and choose their own books. If they’re not interested in origami, sit and do a few YouTube tutorials yourself and show your excitement at your success. Put on a documentary about an interesting topic, and tell them a few quirky facts if they don’t gravitate there automatically. Give them the bowl and beaters to lick as you bake. As with your entire homeschooling journey, your modelling will influence your child.

As your child relaxes into and begins to enjoy this new lifestyle their interests will begin to emerge. Keeping an informal journal of the activities they choose to do can help you to recognise patterns and emerging interests. You can begin to address these casually by finding a book at the library about the topic, or buying the materials needed for it. From this they will naturally begin to fill their time with worthwhile activities. It will also provide you with guidance on what resources and educational methods will best service your child’s learning style and interests.

All of the activities above will also help you both deal with one of the greatest challenges – learning to spend most of your time together. This can be difficult when you’ve led separate lives. You may feel like you don’t really know or understand each other. If you have started homeschooling more than one child they may fight and argue. It may be depressing and disheartening to realise just how little time you used to spend together. The thing to remember is that now you are spending time together, and if you make it relaxed and enjoyable you will only get closer and more comfortable with each other.

A second major illusion on which the school system rests is that most learning is the result of teaching. Teaching, it is true, may contribute to certain kinds of learning under certain circumstances, But most people acquire most of their knowledge outside school, and in school only insofar as school, in a few rich countries, has become their place of confinement during an increasing part of their lives. Ivan Ilich deschooling quote featured on Fearless Homeschool.

Once you and your child are feeling relaxed, happy and motivated then it’s time for the next step – instigating a style of homeschooling and getting busy! If you’re interested in reading more about homeschooling styles, take a look at my Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling Styles.

Further Resources

Deschooling Society | Ivan Ilich – The quotes in this post are from this book. It’s incredibly thought-provoking, and I highly recommend it.

Everywhere All the Time : A New Deschooling Reader | Matt Hern

 

And take a look at my Deschooling Pinterest board to discover fantastic resources that will help you get started on deschooling.

Follow Kelly | Fearless Homeschool’s board Unschooling on Pinterest.

Have you deschooled? What challenges did you face, and what were the results? If you would like to add your own experience or ask questions, please do so in the comments below.

 

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