Have you become a slave to the word "NO"?
“Creating a YES Homeschool”
When you choose to homeschool, you choose to say YES to a whole lot more time with your children. It was actually a motivating factor for me!
Just as motivating was the want for our children to have more freedom, more autonomy, more flexibility – and less “busy work” – than they would have had at school.
We truly love the homeschool journey we are creating for our kids. We love the freedom and (maybe even more importantly) the boredom they experience daily. It allows their brains to practice autonomy, independence, creative and solution-based thinking at an astronomical rate, compared with their school counterparts.
But what happens when your child’s push for freedom and autonomy starts to push outside what you believe is appropriate for their age, ability, or understanding?
What happens when their grasp for too much freedom, too much autonomy leads to the word “NO” being used more and more?
This was starting to become our experience with our little man – who absolutely loves to test boundaries and push himself (and others!) past their comfort zones.
If there’s a line, you can bet he’s going to try and find out exactly where it is.
It’s the way he learns.
It’s one of the qualities I love most about him… and, at the same time, the one I find the hardest to negotiate.
As we sat with the lesson our little man was (unknowingly) teaching us, we realised something pretty confronting:
We had become reactive, not proactive.
He was left frustrated, confused, and feeling like he couldn’t do anything right.
We were left frustrated, annoyed, and feeling like all we ever did was thwart his enthusiasm.
We knew something needed to change.
So I set to work — revisiting the learnings about child development that I am so passionate about, the wisdom I so often share with others.
But this time, I looked at it through a different lens — not from my perspective, but through my son’s.
I tried to see the world the way he was experiencing it: where the drive for autonomy wasn’t defiance, but a vital part of his development… where his boundary-testing wasn’t troublemaking, but learning in action.
And what I realised was clear:
For him to truly thrive, we had to do better.
Doing better didn’t mean fewer boundaries – it meant clearer ones.
It meant creating structure, stability, and a family environment where values and expectations were made explicit, not assumed. Most importantly, it meant being more present — really being there, in the moment, to guide and nurture, instead of reacting in the heat of the moment.
Boundaries = Safety
For some people, the idea of adding more boundaries to homeschooling can feel like a bit of a betrayal — like you’re messing with all the freedom you worked so hard to create.
But that wasn’t really our story.
We’ve always had boundaries for our kids — and honestly, we held a lot of them pretty quietly and easily.
The real issue?
It was the smaller, everyday boundaries — the ones that felt “not a big deal” — that we weren’t holding as firmly or consistently as we thought we were. It had never really been a problem with our daughter… but with our son? Ohhh, it showed up loud and clear.
That’s when we really got it:
Boundaries aren’t about restriction. They’re about safety. They’re about clarity.
They create a solid framework our kids can lean into — a map that shows them where they’re free to roam, and where the edges are that keep them safe.
When boundaries are clear, consistent, and lovingly held, our kids aren’t left constantly second-guessing, “Is this okay? Am I allowed?”
Instead, they can get on with the good stuff — being creative, exploring, stretching, growing — because they know they’re held in a space they can trust.
Side Note:
Unfortunately, it’s not a “set and forget” type of deal.
As our kids grow, their needs change, and we need to keep adjusting. Negotiating boundaries and evolving expectations through consultation and reflection will always be part of the journey. It’s an ongoing process — one that requires flexibility, patience, and a whole lot of teamwork.
Consistency Builds Trust
One of the biggest shifts we made was working on our consistency.
(Not rigidity — just steady, predictable expectations and responses.)
If you’ve got a boundary-tester like we do, you’ll know: when rules or reactions are unpredictable, it’s basically an open invitation for more testing. And honestly? It’s frustrating for everyone.
But when expectations are steady, and outcomes are fair and known, something amazing happens:
Trust gets built.
Kids start to trust their environment.
They start to trust the adults around them.
And maybe most importantly — they start to trust themselves.
Consistency becomes a safety net, not just for behaviour, but for their emotional world too.
Freedom Within Structure
The goal was never to turn our home into a mini boot camp (even if, let’s be real, some days that sounded appealing 😆).
The real goal was to create freedom within structure.
By building strong, clear boundaries, we actually opened up more space for our kids to experiment, create, explore, and just be.
They knew the safety net was there.
They knew we weren’t going to yank it out from under them when they least expected it.
And that kind of freedom — the kind built on trust, clarity, and connection — was absolutely worth every bit of effort it took to get there.
Have you become a slave to the word “NO”?
If you’re finding yourself in a similar spot – where the word “NO” is popping up a little too often – you are so not alone.
And it is WHY I am running…
“Creating a YES Homeschool” WORKSHOP
where we’ll dive deeper into exactly how to:
- Set healthy, empowering boundaries
- Build consistency that feels good (not suffocating)
- Create a homeschool environment where kids can thrive emotionally, socially, and creatively
This isn’t about saying “yes” to everything — it’s about building the kind of homeschool where the answer can genuinely be “yes” more often, because there’s trust, clarity, and connection at the foundation.
Join the Fearless Membership to join US LIVE
I’d love to share this journey with you. 💛