When I penned this thought to share, I planned to write a fluffy message about trusting yourself and your child’s journey.
- April 12, 2025
- 5:49 pm
“The only person your homeschool needs to make sense to is YOU… and sometimes, even that is optional.”
When I penned this thought to share, I planned to write a fluffy message about trusting yourself and your child’s journey.
But if we strip away the fluff, where does the need for this statement truly come from? Why do we question whether our homeschool “makes sense” to others?
One word… JUDGMENT!
And while we could easily repeat the many judgments we’ve heard about homeschooling, I’ve decided to focus on judgment at its core.
Judgment, in its purest form, is a vital process. The ability to assess a situation, recognise potential benefits or dangers—whether from people, experiences, or circumstances—and make informed decisions is essential. This skill is crucial for personal growth, safety, and survival, both as individuals and within our communities. When exercised with clarity and integrity, judgment is a character strength that should be celebrated.
Unfortunately, in today’s world, the act of judgment has often lost its purity. Ironically, we now face the challenge of differentiating between judgment that stems from genuine love and concern—offering us an opportunity for growth—and judgment that reveals the growth that may need to be done, by of those who pass it.
In this age of social media and the growing belief that we are entitled to our opinions, with no regard for others, it can feel like judgement or perceived judgement is being thrown from all directions. Family, friends, experts and specialist, total strangers, other homeschooling families and ourselves. Feelings of doubt, fear, helplessness, resentment and failure can start to boil to the surface.
From my perspective, we have several ways to move forward positively by embracing a simple truth:
“The only person your homeschool needs to make sense to is YOU.”
NOTE: The word homeschool can easily be replaced with any other… relationship, choice, or life, come to mind.
So, how do we move forward positively after feeling judged?
Here are my thoughts!
Step One: The Acknowledgement…
Each approach begins with acknowledging the undeniable reality: I feel judged.
This truth remains the same whether the judgment is direct or merely perceived through the words or actions of others. So acknowledge it.
Though in most cases the steps taken may differ depending on whether the judgement is direct or perceived.
Step One: The Why…
In the occurrence of direct judgement….
Consider the intent behind the judgment. Was it given out of love or meant to cause harm? Did it stem from genuine concern or from jealousy?
Regardless of the intent, I believe it’s worth unpacking the judgment further. Taking this moment for reflection will likely help you approach the next step with a clearer mind.
In the occurrence of direct judgement….
Ask yourself the simple question WHY?
Why do I feel judged?
If certain words or actions—especially those not directed at you—strike a nerve, it’s worth exploring why.
In my experience, when others express opinions that differ from our own, we typically feel annoyance, frustration, amusement, curiosity, or indifference. Not judgement.
So why judgement?
It often suggests that the statement or opinion has touched on:
- A concern you were already forming but were unwilling to acknowledge.
- An obstacle or issue you know you must address but don’t know how.
- An opinion you once held that has shifted but hasn’t yet been replaced.
- An opposing belief that carries too much weight to ignore, prompting further reflection.
In any of these cases, the feeling of judgment is more about you than the person or content that sparked it.”
Step Three: Pass your own PURE judgement…
The step we often deliberately overlook and in doing so choose to sit in the world of being offended instead.
Whether the intent is clear or not, take a moment to pass your own pure judgement of the situation. Weigh the evidence fairly, think the situation through, and examine from all sides rather than jumping to conclusions. Be open-minded and willing change your mind in the light of evidence or thoughts presented.
For best results place your ego to one side.
If after passing pure judgement over the matter… you feel that there is some truth in the original statement, no matter the intent, and feel that you would benefit from some growth or change – go ahead and do so, As long as it makes sense to you!
If you are comfortable with your current course… continue on… as long as it makes sense to you!
And if your feelings just don’t make sense to you in the current moment… bench it and revisit when ready.
If we begin to see judgment—whether external or internal, well-intended or not—as a tool for reflection and self-evaluation, our perspective can shift toward growth and positivity.
Paired with the reminder:
“The only person your homeschool needs to make sense to is YOU.”
You will give yourself the freedom to stand firm when needed while, just as importantly, embracing the opportunity to adapt and adjust when necessary.
Added bonus… continued practice of will hopefully equip you better to model and only pass pure judgement on others!
