Is school your back-up option? If you have a bad hour/day/week do you start thinking that school looks like a better option? Do you believe that you’re just ‘trying’ homeschooling, and if it doesn’t work you can always send them to school*? Do you hesitate to make longer-term plans because you’re unsure if you’ll be homeschooling or not?
Your homeschool will fail.
I know, it’s a big statement, but it’s something I’ve seen dozens of times-parents who are homeschooling, but lack commitment. They’re always talking about how school might be better, or complaining how difficult homeschooling is.
They homeschool half-heartedly. Without exception, their children have ended up in school.
Don’t let this be you. Sure, maybe one day in the future your kids will go to school. But make that a decision that results from an honest assessment of what is best for your family, and doesn’t result from discouragement and giving up.
If you want to successfully homeschool, you must commit. Without committing, you greatly increase your chance of failure.
You may think you’re doing an excellent job of hiding your indecision, but children are smart. Your child senses your commitment, or lack thereof. If you wonder if school is better, they’ll wonder if school is better. If you hesitate in your commitment and effort, so will they. If you don’t give your best, neither will they.
It’s a recipe for failure.
Here’s an example of the thought processes of a committed vs. an uncommitted homeschooler
The uncommitted homeschooler thinks, ‘I don’t know a foreign language. How will I ever ensure Tinkertop is bilingual? The local school has a native speaker teaching Japanese. What a wonderful opportunity that would be. I can’t do that at home. She’s missing out on so much.’ Enter into rumination, self-doubt, and thoughts of failure. Repeat every few months, magnifying the sense of failure because you STILL haven’t started learning another language.
The committed homeschooler thinks, ‘It’d be great to know another language, but I don’t. How do we learn one? Well, I’ll get online and ask how others how they do it, there must be plenty of self-teach options for languages. And I’ve heard about Duolingo and Mango, and they’re free, so we’ll try them. Do I know anyone who speaks another language I could ask to tutor? There’s a multicultural festival on soon, maybe I could meet someone there. Hey, maybe we could go overseas and immerse ourselves!’ Action begins. Parent and child feel empowered. Results occur. A positive cycle begins, where parent and child learn that they can find a way to do whatever they want to do.
Success breeds success. Start succeeding by committing.
Here’s what a 100% commitment will do for your homeschool.
- Encourage discipline. Remove your ‘out’ and you’ll stick to it. You’ll do the work instead of putting it off.
- Encourage perseverance. If there’s no Plan B you HAVE to make it work. You’ll keep trying and experimenting until it does.
- Turn your obstacles into growth. You’ll find ways to overcome problems instead of deciding it’s all too hard, and school is a better option.
- Halt rumination. Instead of obsessing over school vs. homeschool, and what you should do, you’ll just homeschool. If the commitment has been made there’s no other option to consider. You won’t waste so much time second-guessing yourself.
- Ensure you give it your best shot. And really, that’s what you need for success. If you lack discipline and perseverance and you’re constantly second-guessing yourself, you won’t try your best. Your obstacles will seem insurmountable. You won’t immerse yourself totally in homeschooling. And that virtually guarantees that you send your child to school, after deciding homeschooling is just too hard/limits educational options/you don’t have time/choose your own excuse.
Sounds great, right?
“Yeah, great, I’ll just totally overhaul my thought processes, eliminate my anxiety problems and become a super confident homeschooling ninja. No problems!” < ——–dripping sarcasm
OK, fair enough. I hear you. It’s really hard to overcome habitual thoughts. And with everyone in the world banging on about how great school is, and voicing their own (usually) misguided opinions about how homeschooling will ruin your child/marriage/finances/mental health/society, it can make homeschooling confidence seem as achievable as world peace.
So, i’ve come up with a something to help you.
The Homeschool Commitment Challenge.
The Homeschooling Commitment Challenge is currently unavailable – it will be back once it’s been revamped and made even better. Check back soon!
To make homeschooling commitment straightforward for you, i’ve created a quick’n’easy challenge. It’s 100% free, and each step is delivered to your inbox.
Just wanted to say how much I’ve really enjoyed HCC! While I am eternally grateful for my local home ed communities there is still quite a bit of gulf between what I really want to achieve for my family, my parenting style and how the majority of our HS community do things…I think this was causing a little anxiety too…so your challenge has really helped me feel more comfortable in my own HS skin and know that I don’t have to conform to anything at all, even fellow home schoolers!Thank you so much! Carly.
In four simple, actionable steps you’ll learn how to-
- Articulate your homeschooling positives and use them to anchor your confidence.
- Discover, expose, and deal with your fears and doubts so they no longer trip you up.
- Become empowered to use problems as fuel for change.
- Drown the negatives and replace them with positives.
And as a bonus, you’ll feel 87% less infuriated when your mother-in-law makes snide remarks about homeschooling (yes, I just made that up. But it will definitely help).
When I first saw this challenge I was intrigued. I was thinking, “Of course I am committed I’ve been at it this long.” Kelly quickly pointed out how there is a difference between involvement and being committed. I love the well thought out worksheets, quotes, and videos that were included. These exercises reminded me to keep learning and growing with my kids. A great course for new homeschoolers, a nice reminder for the rest of us. Jen.
Sad you can’t do this right now? Take a look at Begin Homeschooling with Confidence instead – it’s also free!
*I believe that having a homeschool trial period is completely OK. But give it a strict and short time limit, of say, three months. During that three months, commit fully, and be determined to succeed. If you do, you will.